Always Remember

Well I'm so far behind again, no surprise I'm sure. So much has happened in the last month and I can't wait to write about all of it. It might take some time, but I will get everything documented.

The first thing that happened is something that I wish never happened, and something I hate having to write about, but it's impossible not to because it hits way to close to home. On December 14th, the Connecticut school shooting happened. My heart still hurts for those children, parents, and teachers. When I first heard what had happened on the news, my immediate reaction was that Preston would never go to school. Actually I didn't want him to ever leave the house. I wanted to keep him locked up with us, where I knew he would be safe from the evil of the world. This thought stuck with me for days, and I could not stop thinking about the helpless babies whose lives were stolen that day. I prayed more in those first four days then I had in a very long time.

Later that week I was talking about the tragedy with my mom. I was in tears, asking her how I suppose to let Preston go out into this world with this kind of evil happening all over. She looked at me with a look I have only seen her give me a handful of times, and every time she does I know that what is about to come out of her mouth will change my life, and it did.

She told me that we can't escape the evil. That this evil that hits me so much harder now that I have a child, has always been here, and always will. She told me that the only thing you can do as a parent is raise your child in hopes that they will have a relationship with Christ, and if anything happened to them God forbid, that you would know where they were for eternity.

As much as I already knew this, sometimes your mama knows how to say it for you to totally grasp it. I can't shelter Preston, even though everything in my body and soul tells me I want to. He deserves to have life experiences, to learn side by side with other children. He deserves to be able to play sports or be in the band and go to Proms. My nightly prayer for Preston has been lengthened. I Now always include a prayer for myself. I ask God to help me guide him not only to be a gentleman and an attribute to society, but to guide him in his relationship with the Lord.